Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
