just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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