She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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