wat bout pragnant strippers??
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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