so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
