Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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