my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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