FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
