there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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