what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize