his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you win again, gameday.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
