I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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