wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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