she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
