Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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