Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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