Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
try to milk me bitch
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