i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize