dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
