Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
