Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
