She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
