I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
