We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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