never play flip cup with pint glasses
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I want is dick and wine.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
