Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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