You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
