i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
