Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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