STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
