Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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