So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's blow job season.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
