I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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