Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
