I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
