Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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