It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He felt like a one man threesome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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