he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize