fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize