:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
