Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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