Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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