That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
