do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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