so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
