VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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