k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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