Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize