We're like a lot better than the average bears
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize