ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
