dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
