So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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