the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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