So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
