So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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