Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
