doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
