I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
