it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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