don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
